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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Clinic Canada™

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and Family Mediation

You deserve relationships that feel safe — not familiar.

Founded by Raquel Soteldo, RP — Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic

Book a 15-min Meeting with Raquel
Take the Narcissistic Abuse Assessment

If you’re unsure whether what you experienced was narcissistic abuse, emotional neglect, or trauma bonding, you’re not alone. Many people arrive here simply trying to make sense of patterns that felt confusing, painful, or destabilizing over time.

Focused practice in Narcissistic Abuse, IPV and Coercive Control since 2020 • Serving clients and participants across psychotherapy, support, education and professional training since 2020. • Trauma-informed, evidence-based

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Clinic Canada™

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and Family Mediation

You deserve relationships that feel safe — not familiar.

Founded by Raquel Soteldo, RP — Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic

Book a 15-min Meeting with Raquel
Download the free ebook: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
Take the Narcissistic Abuse Assessment

If you’re unsure whether what you experienced was narcissistic abuse, emotional neglect, or trauma bonding, you’re not alone. Many people arrive here simply trying to make sense of patterns that felt confusing, painful, or destabilizing over time.

hero-raquel-photo

Focused practice in Narcissistic Abuse, IPV and Coercive Control since 2020 • Serving clients and participants across psychotherapy, support, education and professional training since 2020. • Trauma-informed, evidence-based

Meet Raquel

Gaslighting in Relationships: How Survivors Reclaim Reality

Gaslighting is one of the most disorienting and damaging tactics in narcissistic abuse. Survivors often describe it as feeling like their entire reality has been stolen. Phrases like “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things” leave lasting scars, creating confusion, self-doubt, and even panic.Why Gaslighting WorksGaslighting works because it targets the very foundation of trust—our perception of reality. When someone you love repeatedly denies your truth, you begin to second-guess your memory and instincts. Survivors may arrive in therapy unsure whether they are exaggerating, “too sensitive,” or even mentally unstable.This confusion is not a reflection of weakness. It is the intended effect of sustained manipulation. The more uncertain a survivor becomes, the easier it is for the abuser to control them.How Therapy Restores RealityPsychotherapy helps survivors reclaim their reality in three key ways:1. Validation – Simply hearing, “Yes, that is gaslighting. Yes, it’s real” can be profoundly healing.2. Journaling & Tracking – Writing down conversations or feelings helps survivors rebuild trust in their memory.3. Reframing Self-Doubt – Survivors learn that their confusion was a symptom of abuse, not a flaw.Moving ForwardRebuilding trust in oneself takes time, but it is possible. Survivors often emerge with a stronger connection to their inner voice than ever before.👉 At Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic, we help survivors of narcissistic abuse untangle gaslighting, rebuild confidence, and reclaim their reality. Book your consultation today.

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September 3, 2025

When Love Feels Like Hurt: Understanding Cognitive Dissonance in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Cognitive dissonance is one of the most confusing and exhausting after-effects of narcissistic abuse. Survivors often come into therapy saying things like: “I know the relationship was toxic, but I still miss them,” or “They hurt me, but I believe they loved me too.” This is cognitive dissonance—holding two conflicting beliefs at once. It is not weakness. It is a predictable psychological response to manipulation. Why Cognitive Dissonance Happens Narcissistic abuse operates on a cycle of highs and lows. Survivors are idealized one moment, devalued the next. The brain clings to the positive experiences (“They cared for me”) in order to survive the negative ones (“They humiliated me”). This back-and-forth creates a mental tug-of-war that erodes self-trust. Survivors may find themselves minimizing abuse, rationalizing harmful behavior, or hoping the “good version” of the abuser will return.How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Therapy As psychotherapists, we often see survivors question their own memories or justify the abuser’s behavior. It is essential to validate that this internal conflict is not proof of weakness—it is evidence of the trauma bond. Cognitive dissonance was a survival mechanism. By believing in the abuser’s good side, the survivor made the unbearable feel manageable.Naming this process in session can be profoundly healing. When a therapist says, “You’re not broken, you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance,” the survivor begins to reclaim clarity.Breaking the Cycle: Therapeutic Interventions Several approaches help clients resolve dissonance: 1. Psychoeducation – Teaching survivors about cognitive dissonance normalizes their confusion. It shifts blame away from the client and onto the manipulative dynamics of the relationship.2. Reality Testing – Encourage clients to write down conflicting thoughts, then gently examine which align with lived reality.3. Compassionate Reframing – Survivors often berate themselves for “being stupid.” Reframing dissonance as a sign of resilience (“You found a way to survive”) reduces shame.4. Narrative Therapy – Invite clients to retell their story without minimizing or justifying the abuse. This helps them see the contradiction more clearly.A Path Toward Healing Cognitive dissonance doesn’t resolve overnight. Survivors may revisit old memories and feel waves of doubt. Healing requires patience, compassion, and consistent validation. Over time, truth becomes louder than illusion, and the client learns to trust their perceptions again.Final Thoughts If you’re a survivor reading this, know that feeling torn between love and pain does not mean you are broken—it means you are healing. If you are a psychotherapist, remember that your role is to validate before you challenge, and to hold space for both realities until the survivor feels safe enough to choose truth.👉 At Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic, we specialize in supporting survivors of narcissistic abuse through cognitive dissonance, PTSD, and anxiety recovery. If you’re ready to reclaim clarity and freedom, book a consultation today.  

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September 3, 2025