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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Clinic Canada™

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and Family Mediation

You deserve relationships that feel safe — not familiar.

Founded by Raquel Soteldo, RP — Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic

Book a 15-min Meeting with Raquel
Take the Narcissistic Abuse Assessment

If you’re unsure whether what you experienced was narcissistic abuse, emotional neglect, or trauma bonding, you’re not alone. Many people arrive here simply trying to make sense of patterns that felt confusing, painful, or destabilizing over time.

Focused practice in Narcissistic Abuse, IPV and Coercive Control since 2020 • Serving clients and participants across psychotherapy, support, education and professional training since 2020. • Trauma-informed, evidence-based

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Clinic Canada™

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and Family Mediation

You deserve relationships that feel safe — not familiar.

Founded by Raquel Soteldo, RP — Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic

Book a 15-min Meeting with Raquel
Download the free ebook: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
Take the Narcissistic Abuse Assessment

If you’re unsure whether what you experienced was narcissistic abuse, emotional neglect, or trauma bonding, you’re not alone. Many people arrive here simply trying to make sense of patterns that felt confusing, painful, or destabilizing over time.

hero-raquel-photo

Focused practice in Narcissistic Abuse, IPV and Coercive Control since 2020 • Serving clients and participants across psychotherapy, support, education and professional training since 2020. • Trauma-informed, evidence-based

Meet Raquel

“Nobody Understands What Happened”: The Isolation of Narcissistic Abuse

You may have people around you and still feel completely alone. This is something survivors of narcissistic abuse, coercive control and emotionally abusive relationships may experience. Friends and family may know pieces of the story. They may not understand the pattern. “But They Seem So Nice.” One particularly confusing experience can occur when a partner behaves very differently publicly than privately. Other people may experience them as charming, successful, generous, funny or helpful. Meanwhile, you experience criticism, manipulation, intimidation, gaslighting or control behind closed doors. When you finally describe what is happening, disbelief can feel devastating. You May Begin Silencing Yourself Eventually, explaining can become exhausting. You might stop talking about the relationship. You might minimize what happened. You might withdraw socially. And after enough time, you may even begin questioning yourself. “Maybe I’m exaggerating.” “Maybe nobody will believe me.” “Maybe I really am the problem.” Isolation can reinforce those doubts. Recovery Can Include Being Witnessed There is something important about being able to describe an experience without immediately having to defend it. Being understood does not mean everyone must have experienced exactly the same thing. It means there can be space for complexity. You may still love the person. You may still miss them. You may have returned several times. You may still be deciding what you want. You may be angry. You may be grieving. Those experiences can coexist. You Don’t Have to Explain Everything at Once Recovery doesn’t require having a perfectly organized account of your relationship. Sometimes understanding comes gradually. One pattern becomes visible. Then another. Eventually, experiences that once seemed unrelated may begin to make more sense together. Ottawa In-Person Survivor Group $35 per session Register for In-Person Survivor Group Psychotherapy Virtual groups are also available for $25 per session, and self-paced survivor resources are available through our Linktree. Visit our Linktree for self-paced survivor courses and recorded resources.

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October 16, 2026

Narcissistic Abuse Support in Ottawa: Where to Start

Reaching out for help after narcissistic or emotional abuse can feel overwhelming, especially when you have spent a long time doubting yourself. If you live in Ottawa or elsewhere in Ontario, there are several ways to begin. Individual Therapy One-to-one therapy offers a private space to make sense of what happened, understand trauma bonds and rebuild self-trust at your own pace. Survivor Group Therapy Groups allow you to connect with others who understand without needing to explain everything. Many survivors find this reduces shame and isolation. Crisis and Safety Resources If you are worried about your safety, community resources, shelters and legal supports are available. Our HELP NOW page lists crisis lines and services in Ottawa and Ontario. Choosing a Therapist Ask whether they have training in coercive control and relationship trauma. Look for a trauma-informed approach that does not pressure you to reconcile or "see both sides." Check that they are registered with a regulatory college, such as the CRPO. Notice whether you feel believed and respected in a first conversation.Support in Ottawa and Across Ontario Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic offers narcissistic abuse therapy in person in Ottawa and virtually across Ontario, as well as survivor group therapy. For self-paced survivor courses and resources, visit linktr.ee/narcclinic. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or visit our HELP NOW page. This article is for general information and is not a substitute for individual assessment or therapy.

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October 9, 2026

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Stages: What to Expect

Many survivors want to know whether what they are feeling is normal. While every person's path is different, recovery from narcissistic abuse often moves through recognizable stages. 1. Confusion and Self-Doubt Early on, you may question whether the abuse was "that bad," replay conversations or wonder whether you were the problem. This is a common effect of gaslighting. 2. Recognition Learning language for patterns such as manipulation, devaluation and coercive control can bring relief — and sometimes anger or sadness. 3. Grief Survivors often grieve the relationship they hoped for, lost time and parts of themselves that were silenced. Grief can come in waves. 4. Boundaries and Distance Creating emotional and practical distance helps the nervous system settle. This may include no contact, limited contact or structured co-parenting communication. 5. Rebuilding Identity Over time, many people reconnect with interests, friendships and values, and begin trusting their own perceptions again. Stages Are Not a Checklist It is common to move back and forth between stages. Support from a trauma-informed therapist or a survivor group can make the process feel less isolating.Support in Ottawa and Across Ontario Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic offers narcissistic abuse therapy in person in Ottawa and virtually across Ontario, as well as survivor group therapy. For self-paced survivor courses and resources, visit linktr.ee/narcclinic. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or visit our HELP NOW page. This article is for general information and is not a substitute for individual assessment or therapy.

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October 9, 2026

How to Heal From Narcissistic Abuse: A Gentle Guide to Recovery

If you are asking how to heal from narcissistic abuse, you may already know that something was deeply wrong — even if it is hard to explain to others. Recovery is possible, and it rarely follows a straight line. Why Recovery Can Feel So Confusing Narcissistic abuse often involves gaslighting, blame-shifting and cycles of warmth followed by withdrawal or criticism. Over time, many survivors begin doubting their memory, their feelings and their judgment. Healing often starts with naming what happened. Common Phases of Healing Stabilizing: creating safety, reducing contact where possible and calming the nervous system. Understanding: making sense of patterns such as trauma bonds, intermittent reinforcement and self-blame. Rebuilding: reconnecting with your values, boundaries, relationships and sense of self. Practical Steps You Can Start With Write down what happened, with dates, to help counter self-doubt. Limit or structure contact when it is safe to do so. Notice your body's signals — tension, dread or relief — as information. Connect with people who believe you, including other survivors. Consider working with a therapist who understands coercive control and relationship trauma. Be Patient With Yourself Setbacks, grief and even missing the person are common parts of recovery. They do not mean you are failing; they often reflect how powerful the bond was.Support in Ottawa and Across Ontario Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic offers narcissistic abuse therapy in person in Ottawa and virtually across Ontario, as well as survivor group therapy. For self-paced survivor courses and resources, visit linktr.ee/narcclinic. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or visit our HELP NOW page. This article is for general information and is not a substitute for individual assessment or therapy.

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October 9, 2026

Trauma Bonds: Why You Can Miss Someone Who Hurt You

One of the most confusing experiences after leaving a harmful relationship can be missing the person who hurt you. You may know why you left. You may remember the manipulation, criticism, control, fear, gaslighting, or emotional instability. And still: You miss them. This contradiction can leave survivors wondering, “What is wrong with me?” The better question is: What happened inside this relationship that made the attachment so difficult to break? Understanding Trauma Bonding The term trauma bond is commonly used to describe a powerful attachment that can develop within relationships involving repeated cycles of mistreatment alongside periods of affection, relief, reconciliation, or reward. The relationship isn’t painful every moment. That’s part of what can make it so confusing. There may be wonderful periods. There may be affection. There may be promises. There may be moments when the person appears to become exactly who you hoped they would be. Then the relationship changes again. The Cycle Can Become the Relationship Imagine repeatedly experiencing: Connection → Tension → Harm → Distance → Apology → Affection → Hope → Connection. After enough repetitions, the relief that follows distress can feel incredibly powerful. The survivor may not simply be waiting for the abuse to stop. They may be waiting for the good version of the relationship to return. You May Be Missing More Than the Person Sometimes survivors are grieving: who the person appeared to be initially, the future they imagined, the family they hoped to create, the promises that were made, the periods when the relationship felt safe, or the person they themselves were before everything became complicated. That grief is real even when the relationship was unhealthy. Missing Them Is Not the Same as Needing to Return An emotion is not an instruction. You can miss someone without contacting them. You can love someone while recognizing that the relationship isn’t safe or healthy for you. You can grieve and continue moving forward. The goal does not have to be forcing yourself to feel nothing. Recovery can instead involve understanding why the attachment became so powerful and learning to make decisions based on your wellbeing rather than the intensity of the moment. Understanding Can Reduce Shame Survivors are frequently judged for returning to relationships. They may judge themselves even more harshly. Understanding the relational cycle allows us to replace: “Why am I doing this?” with: “What is keeping this attachment alive?” That is a very different conversation. October Virtual Survivor Group Psychotherapy Continue exploring these patterns in a professionally facilitated therapeutic group. October 28 & 31, 2026 Virtual | $25 per session You are welcome whether you recently left, have been separated for some time, or are trying to understand what happened. Register for Virtual Survivor Group Therapy Prefer in-person support? Ottawa In-Person Survivor Group Psychotherapy is $35 per session. You can also explore self-paced survivor courses and recorded resources through our Linktree. Visit our Linktree for self-paced survivor courses and recorded resources.

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October 7, 2026

Parallel Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex: A Survival Guide

Every separated parent hears the same advice: put the children first, communicate respectfully, co-parent as a team. For parents sharing custody with a narcissistic or high-conflict ex, this advice is not just unhelpful — it is dangerous, because it keeps a door open that the other parent will keep walking through. Parallel parenting is the evidence-informed alternative. Instead of cooperating, the two households operate independently, with minimal direct contact and highly structured communication. The core principles First: communication is written, brief, and businesslike. Use a parenting app where messages are logged. Respond only to logistical content — pickup times, medical information, school events — and ignore bait, commentary, and provocation entirely. Second: exchanges are structured and predictable. Same time, same place, minimal interaction. Where possible, use school as the exchange point so you rarely see each other at all. Third: each household runs itself. You do not comment on their rules, and you do not defend yours. Children are remarkably capable of understanding that different houses have different ways of doing things. Protecting your children without badmouthing The hardest part is watching your children absorb the other parent's behaviour — the guilt trips, the favouritism, the broken promises — without being able to explain it. The guidance here is consistent: never attack the other parent, but always validate the child's experience. When your child says 'Dad says you're a liar,' the healthy response is not counterattack but grounding: 'That must have felt confusing. In this house, we tell the truth, and you can always ask me anything.' You are teaching reality testing — the exact skill that will protect them for life. Taking care of the parent in the middle Parallel parenting is a marathon. The provocations don't stop; you simply stop feeding them. That requires support of your own — a therapist who understands post-separation abuse, a community that believes you, and practices that keep your nervous system regulated enough to be the calm parent your children need. You cannot control the other household. You can build one where your children experience consistency, safety, and unconditional love — and over time, that is what they will remember. Visit our Linktree for self-paced survivor courses and recorded resources.

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September 29, 2026