Appointment
Linkedin Instagram

Blogs

flower icon

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Clinic Canada™

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and Family Mediation

You deserve relationships that feel safe — not familiar.

Founded by Raquel Soteldo, RP — Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic

Book a 15-min Meeting with Raquel
Take the Narcissistic Abuse Assessment

If you’re unsure whether what you experienced was narcissistic abuse, emotional neglect, or trauma bonding, you’re not alone. Many people arrive here simply trying to make sense of patterns that felt confusing, painful, or destabilizing over time.

Focused practice in Narcissistic Abuse, IPV and Coercive Control since 2020 • Serving clients and participants across psychotherapy, support, education and professional training since 2020. • Trauma-informed, evidence-based

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Clinic Canada™

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and Family Mediation

You deserve relationships that feel safe — not familiar.

Founded by Raquel Soteldo, RP — Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic

Book a 15-min Meeting with Raquel
Download the free ebook: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
Take the Narcissistic Abuse Assessment

If you’re unsure whether what you experienced was narcissistic abuse, emotional neglect, or trauma bonding, you’re not alone. Many people arrive here simply trying to make sense of patterns that felt confusing, painful, or destabilizing over time.

hero-raquel-photo

Focused practice in Narcissistic Abuse, IPV and Coercive Control since 2020 • Serving clients and participants across psychotherapy, support, education and professional training since 2020. • Trauma-informed, evidence-based

Meet Raquel

Working With Survivors in Double Binds (For Psychotherapists)

Survivors of narcissistic abuse often present with chronic self-doubt. They lived in double binds: “You’re too emotional,” yet “You’re cold.” No matter what they did, it was wrong.The Impact of Double BindsThis impossible standard erodes confidence. Survivors internalize contradictory demands as evidence of personal failure. In therapy, they may struggle with indecision or feel they can “never get it right.”Clinical Strategies• Psychoeducation – Teach that double binds are tools of control.• Cognitive Restructuring – Highlight the impossibility of the abuser’s demands.• Empowerment Work – Encourage survivors to reject the trap and set boundaries.Training Application for PsychotherapistsSupervisees should learn to listen for the language of double binds in sessions and call them out explicitly. Survivors heal when they realize the contradiction was never their fault.👉 At Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic, we train psychotherapists to dismantle double binds and restore survivor confidence.

Read More

September 3, 2025

Naming Gaslighting – The Therapist’s Role

Gaslighting is one of the most destabilizing dynamics of narcissistic abuse. Survivors may enter therapy feeling confused, doubting their perceptions, and questioning their sanity. The therapist’s job is not to stay neutral—it’s to name the gaslighting.Why Naming MattersSurvivors already feel invalidated. If therapists avoid labeling gaslighting, clients may feel silenced again. A simple validation like, “What you’re describing is gaslighting,” can restore a sense of clarity and dignity.Therapeutic Tools• Reality Anchoring – Encourage clients to keep journals of conversations.• Psychoeducation – Explain how gaslighting erodes confidence.• Compassion Work – Reframe confusion as a symptom of abuse, not a flaw.Training InsightFor supervisees, emphasize that naming gaslighting is not “taking sides.” It’s trauma-informed care. Survivors need reality restored, not blurred further.👉 At Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic, we empower psychotherapists to confidently identify gaslighting and help survivors reclaim their reality.

Read More

September 3, 2025

Validating Memory Gaps in Survivors of Trauma (For Psychotherapists)

Many survivors of narcissistic abuse enter therapy worried about missing pieces of memory. They may say things like, “I don’t remember years of my life,” or “I can’t recall the details clearly.” New therapists sometimes panic, fearing exaggeration or unreliability. In truth, memory fragmentation is a common trauma response.Why Memory Gaps OccurTrauma overwhelms the nervous system. When the brain perceives danger, its priority is survival, not recording events in neat, linear detail. Dissociation—mentally “checking out” when stress becomes unbearable—can lead to lost or foggy memories. Survivors did not choose this. Their brains protected them.Clinical ApproachPsychotherapists should validate memory gaps instead of interrogating them. A compassionate statement like, “This is a normal trauma response,” reassures the client. Avoid pushing for details, which may retraumatize. Instead, focus on the emotions and meanings behind the gaps.Training TakeawayTeach trainees that the role of therapy is not to fact-check memories but to honor their impact. Survivors heal when their experience is believed and respected, regardless of precise recall.👉 At Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic, we train psychotherapists to hold space for fragmented memories with skill and empathy.

Read More

September 3, 2025

Projection in Narcissistic Abuse – Helping Survivors See Through the Lies

Projection is a classic tool of narcissistic abuse. The abuser accuses the survivor of the very things they are guilty of—lying, cheating, being selfish. Over time, survivors internalize these accusations.Why Projection WorksProjection shifts responsibility away from the abuser and onto the survivor. If the narcissist cheats, they accuse their partner of betrayal. This creates constant defense, self-doubt, and guilt.Therapy ApplicationTherapists must explicitly name projection and externalize it. Survivors need to hear: “These accusations were not about you—they were about them.” Encourage clients to separate identity from imposed guilt.Survivor EmpowermentOnce survivors understand projection, they can stop carrying blame that was never theirs. This insight is often described as “liberating.”👉 At Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic, we help survivors dismantle projection and reclaim their authentic self.

Read More

September 3, 2025

Idealization and Devaluation – Teaching Psychotherapists About the Narcissistic Cycle

For psychotherapists, understanding the narcissistic cycle of idealization and devaluation is essential. Survivors often present with confusion, asking: “Why were they so loving at first, then so cruel?”The Cycle of Idealization and Devaluation• Idealization – Survivors are placed on a pedestal, showered with love, praise, and attention. This phase creates emotional dependency and often feels like the “perfect relationship.”• Devaluation – Criticism, coldness, and cruelty gradually replace affection. Survivors begin to doubt themselves, their worth, and their perceptions.• Discard – The abuser abandons, replaces, or threatens to leave the survivor, often abruptly. This leaves lasting trauma and reinforces the cycle. This cycle creates dependency and deep trauma.Clinical Strategies for TherapistsWhen working with survivors or training supervisees, therapists can:1. Validate the reality of the cycle.2. Help survivors see idealization as manipulation, not genuine love.3. Support grief around the loss of the “idealized” phase.Closing NoteEducating survivors about this cycle helps them stop chasing the illusion of “getting back” the person who once adored them.👉 At Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic, we train psychotherapists to identify and treat the impact of idealization/devaluation cycles.

Read More

September 3, 2025

Why Good Memories Keep Survivors Stuck – Understanding Trauma Bonds

Many survivors struggle with the question: “If it was abuse, why do I miss them?” This painful confusion is part of the trauma bond.What Is a Trauma Bond?Trauma bonds form when cycles of affection and abuse mimic addiction. The brain becomes hooked on the “highs” of love-bombing, even while enduring harm. Survivors crave the moments of tenderness and hope, making it hard to leave or move on.Healing From Trauma BondsTherapy addresses trauma bonding through:• Psychoeducation – Normalizing the cycle as manipulation.• Addiction Lens – Framing it as emotional dependency rather than “love.”• Grief Work – Helping clients mourn who the abuser pretended to be.TakeawayMissing an abuser does not invalidate the abuse. It validates the strength of the manipulation.👉 At Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic, we guide survivors through breaking trauma bonds and reclaiming freedom.

Read More

September 3, 2025