All couples disagree. Conflict between equals can be painful, but both people generally feel free to speak, disagree and make choices. Coercive control is different: one person’s behaviour creates fear, limits freedom and shifts power over time.
Questions that may help you reflect
- Do you feel afraid of how your partner will react?
- Do you change your behaviour to avoid consequences?
- Do you feel free to see friends, spend money or make decisions?
- Has the pattern become stronger over time?
A conversation, not a label
These questions are for reflection only, not diagnosis. A screening conversation with a clinician can help you make sense of your experience.
Considering a screening conversation?
Our IPV & Coercive Control Screening service offers a confidential, clinician-led conversation to help you understand your situation and possible next steps. Each person is screened separately, and you can share your safest way to be contacted.
Learn more about IPV & Coercive Control Screening →
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For crisis lines and safety resources, visit Help Now.
Looking for self-paced survivor courses and resources? Visit linktr.ee/narcclinic.
This article is for general education and is not a diagnosis, legal advice or a substitute for individual clinical care.
National Center of Excellence for Intimate Partner Violence and Coercive Control is not a psychotherapy service.