Survivors of narcissistic abuse often say, “Maybe it was my fault.” This painful self-blame can frustrate therapists, but it’s important to see it as a symptom, not resistance.
Why Survivors Blame Themselves
Self-blame provides an illusion of control. If the survivor caused the abuse, then maybe they could have prevented it. This false belief offered hope in an otherwise powerless situation. Over time, the self-blame becomes ingrained, even after the relationship ends.
How Therapy Responds
Therapists must respond with patience and validation. Correcting self-blame too quickly can feel invalidating. Instead, acknowledge it as a survival strategy. Gradually introduce reframes: “You did what you had to in order to survive. That doesn’t mean it was your fault.”
Moving Forward
With time, survivors learn to transfer blame back to where it belongs—the abuser—and embrace self-compassion.
👉 At Soteldo Psychotherapy Clinic, we help survivors release self-blame and rebuild self-respect.
